the war against crack

i drove down to philly last weekend. i experience mild narcolepsy and on the road i was fighting it. my mint tea didn't seem to be helping.

a couple months ago i quit coffee. i had only been drinking one or two cups a day, but when i quit i noticed that i was sleeping way better, deeper, waking up without that feeling of grogginess that i had grown accustomed to as normal. (unless i had been drinking and then sometimes i felt a bit like ass.) so i was staying off coffee willingly despite the fact that i fucking LOVE coffee.

but on the way down to philly, i was a bit drowsy and i decided that i was not interested in dying. so i got a cup of coffee. it sorta helped. but something about the warmth of coffee soothes me and can make me drowsy (it was for this reason that before i tried quitting coffee i had not believed that it had any cracklike qualities.)

so i got a red bull, which from now on i am going to refer to as CRACK BULL. i've had red bull before, but always with vodka, amid smoke and lights and often already drunk and in a mind-altered kind of mood. this was the first time when i was ever kind of going along in life in a normal way and i cracked open a can of the good 'ole crack bull and drank it. the fact that wired had a one-pager on its cracky ingredients had captured my interest a bit.

boy, that stuff is crack like i didn't know. i was zooming in and out of traffic, pumping up the trance music and confusing the hell out of my shitty automatic transmission in my low-performance geekmobile.

today i made a pot of assam tea and forgot to take the tea leaves out, then i drank pretty much the whole pot. that stuff is pretty cracky too man! i worked for like 6 or 7 hours without eating anything. i had a sort of epiphany when i was jumping around on my mattress and blasting some electronica during a little break: who needs money, when crack bull and cracky assam tea are so cheap? we'll see how i sleep tonight relative to my rich colleagues: that is the acid test.